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Rightly Dividing
the Word of Truth (2 Timothy 2:15)
Established November 2008 Published
Weekly on Friday
This is good and
acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men (and women) to be saved and to come to the knowledge of
the truth. (1Timothy 2:3-4)
Ephesians (6:1-4)
(Lesson 32)
Welcome to HBS.
I decided to “park”
on Ephesians 5:22-33 for three consecutive weeks in order to glean as much knowledge as humanly possible from the
Lord’s commands to His church, specifically, the responsibilities of the husband and wife. I don’t believe we
accumulated every scrap of information from this particular passage of
scripture, but we did cover it well enough for the believing spouses to live
out their life in step with the Holy Spirit. However that all important first step in their
journey together in life begins with demonstrating the willingness to be led by the Spirit; i.e. be under the Holy Spirit’s control (Psalm 143:10; Romans
8:14; Ephesians 5:18).
********
Outline
of Ephesians Chapter 6
The duty of children towards their parents (6:1-4); the duty
of servants towards their masters (6:5-9); expect spiritual
warfare if you’re walking in the
Spirit with Christ Jesus, not only against flesh and blood, but also spiritual forces
of wickedness (6:10-12); therefore put on the full armor of God (6:13-17); how this godly armor is to be
used (6:18-20); Tychicus is commended (6:21-24).
Please
open your Bible at Ephesians 6:1-3.
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment
with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON
THE EARTH
(Exodus
20:12).
Fathers, do not provoke your
children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline of the Lord
(Genesis 18:19; Colossians 3:21).
What
was the first command from the LORD to the man
He created? Most people say, “Do
not eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil,” but that’s
not it. Let’s all take a look at this; please
turn with me in your Bible to Genesis 1:26-27:
Then God said, “Let
us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion (authority) over the fish of the sea and over the birds
of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every
creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the
image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. (Here’s the first command) And God said to them, “Be fruitful
and multiply and fill the earth (with their
offspring) and subdue it, and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens
and over every living thing that moves on the earth.
There
are a few noteworthy items in this passage worth studying, but we’re here
specifically to review the LORDs first command to the man. In verse 1:27 the man received the authority to subdue the
earth and fill it with his offspring
(children). Why? This book says children are the Lord’s
inheritance, i.e. every child born
into this world is His reward.
Turn
with me to Psalm 127:3-5:
Lo, children
are an heritage of the Lord: And
the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth. Happy (blessed) is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
They shall not be ashamed,
But they shall
speak with the enemies in the gate (KJV).
The
words is His is italicized which tells us they were added by the
Bible translators, but by doing so they
have obscured the meaning of the text. Left alone the verse implies children belong to God as His reward for all the things He does for us,
resembling a “quid pro quo” kind of thing.
However, if you remove these two words the text reads thusly, “And the fruit of the womb is (a)
reward.” This means children are a blessing (not a burden) with
which God rewards or favors His
people.
In
this passage David compares children
to arrows in the hand of a mighty man (2
Samuel 23:8-39; 1 Chronicles 11:10-47); they demonstrate the strength of his youth, while advancing the fulfillment of God’s
purpose to fill the earth with god-fearing children. David speaks in
general terms because not every married couple experiences this blessing from
God. Yet if you’ve been blessed with one
or more arrows in your quiver God
expects you to raise them to be instruments of His praise and
thanksgiving.
In
David’s day a quiver held about
twelve arrows. God’s not saying every married couple should get
busy and produce twelve children; He is saying every child they bring into this
world is to bring glory and honor to God, the Father of us all:
Paul
writes: There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were
called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one
baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and
through all and in all (Ephesians 4:4-6).
Returning
to our Bible text, God’s command for the
children is actually quite simple -they are to obey their parents (6:1). As straightforward as this appears, I’m not
seeing obedience to God’s will lived out in our society
today. People and children have opted to
go their own way (without God) instead of walking with Him. What’s more, the negative activities
occurring outside the home have a way of infiltrating our homes, as well as the
church. This leads me to conclude this
scriptural directive has been forgotten
by most and ignored by the rest. True Believers should not be counted as
followers of either one of these extremes.
Instead, true Believers desire to obey all the Lord’s commands, remembering it’s not about us or what we
want; it’s about glorifying God:
Not to us, O LORD,
not to us, But to Your name give glory because of Your lovingkindness,
because of Your truth
(Psalm 115:1).
Do you not know
that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have
received from God? You are not your own;
you were bought (redeemed)
at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body (1
Corinthians 6:19-20).
Whether, then, you
eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians
10:31).
The
Blame Game Continues
I
don’t believe it’s escaped anyone’s attention that people’s perception of
children has changed over time. Most
people in this nation no longer view children the way generations before the
1950s did. This is due largely to the
shift in secular philosophy’s view or understanding of people in general and
children especially. No longer are people and children seen as
responsible for themselves. Plainly
said, instead of being held accountable for one’s conduct, there is always
someone else or something else to blame; some other factor in our society is the
reason for the child’s bad behavior. In
short, atheistic sociology claim society determines our consciousness and
actions. The Bible’s viewpoint is quite
different in that it teaches us we are free to choose between right and wrong,
good and evil, and we shape society rather than society shaping us.
When
you follow the Rule of First Mention in scripture, you’ll find the very first
“blame game” incident occurring in Genesis 3:8-13; the woman blamed the serpent
for her indiscretion and the man
blamed the LORD because He brought
her to him:
They heard the
sound of the Lord God walking in
the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from
the presence of the Lord God among
the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to
him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard
the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid
myself.” And He said, “Who told you that
you were naked? Have you eaten from the
tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the
tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is
this you have done?” And the woman said,
“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
So,
if were to believe the man and the woman here, they’re not responsible for
their behavior, someone else is. I don’t
believe this is a learned response it’s humanity’s natural response to the
“finger of shame” being wagged at them. Permit
me to give y’all an illustration: my
siblings and I occasionally used our parents’ bed as a trampoline or in a game
we played where you had to circumvent their entire bedroom without your feet
touching the floor. When mom came home
and found her bed in disarray, she immediately approached each one of us
asking, “Who’s to blame?” When it was my
turn I said, “Not me,” implying someone else was guilty. Mom knew “not me” wasn’t the culprit and the
lies only made the matter worse. Since
no one admitted to disobeying my parent’s rule, all of us were punished. She did not blame other people or our society
for our misbehavior.
However,
our Apostle Paul isn’t talking about people, in general, here; he’s
specifically addressing the children in
the Ephesian home. But is he speaking to
all children or just a particular age group?
Paul is addressing those children who have reached the age of
accountability, i.e. they’re old enough to understand good and evil; right
behavior vs wrong conduct. We know we’re
on the right track because of what Paul’s doing here; he’s not speaking to the
parent’s, he’s addressing children
directly.
“Children obey your parents…” - the Koine Greek word for children is Teknon (tek’- non), Noun Neuter, Strong’s Greek
#5043, meaning: offspring. It conveys the
idea of: a readiness to hear and has in it the sense of obeying orders. It is also a present tense verb which means they
are obey continually; this is to the
pattern of your child’s life.
Teknon
(children) is used 91 times in scripture.
I have one example taken from Paul’s letter to the Believers in Philippi
for your review:
“…so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless
and innocent, children (Teknon)
of God above reproach in the midst of a
crooked and perverse generation, among whom appear as lights in the world,
(Philippians 2:22).
The
word “obey” in Koine Greek is Hupakouo (hoop-ak-oo’-o),
Verb, Strong’s Greek #5219, meaning:
to listen attentively, to harken,
obedient. My father told us
children, “As long as you’re living under
my roof, you’ll do as I say.” That’s
not a scripture quote, but he wasn’t far from wrong. As long as the children or child remains at home, they are subject to their godly parents.
Now, when the children
are of age, and they’ve opted to establish their own homes, I believe this
command from Paul no longer pertains to them.
However, as long as the child or children
are dependent upon their parents for their livelihood, they are obligated to obey their parents. Why?
Order in the home, the church, and in the community depends on it
(Proverbs 1:8, 23:22; Colossians 3:18).
The
Lord’s command for children to honor their parents has no expiration date.
Training
Your Child
Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is (the) right
(thing to do) – I mentioned
earlier people are not born into this world with a willingness to obey any authority; instead they’re
born disobedient and rebellious. I don’t
believe I need to remind parents of this truth.
Who hasn’t experienced a child’s temper tantrum, their sass, and their stubbornness? The first word most parents hear their child speak is “No,” after he or she
has received their instruction(s). This
is due to the fact they’ve heard their parents say “no” to them multiple times
each day. Since children aren’t inclined to listen and obey, they must be trained by their parents.
How
do the husband and wife “train” their child? I’m glad you asked. First, know you’re up against the world’s way of thinking, i.e. the humanistic
approach of our day that basically says “Let
children express themselves.” And
whatever you do don’t spank them; if you do you’ll scar them for life! This unbiblical approach to child-rearing has
resulted in the child becoming assertive and demanding at an early age. Who hasn’t seen a mortified parent in the
grocery aisle or at the check-out counter, admonishing their child for misbehaving? I had one of these experiences just the other
day. I was behind mom and her child at
the check-out counter when I saw the little girl reach out and take several
items from the display. As soon as mom
noticed she was removing a candy bar from its wrapper, she took it and all the
other items away saying, “These things
aren’t good for you… we’ll eat lunch when we get home.” The child immediately went ballistic. Nothing mom said soothed her or stopped the
bawling. The temper tantrum ended when
mom gave in and returned the candy bar to her.
What just happened? This child
manipulated her mother – she won the battle of wills, proving children are training their parents instead
of the parents training their children.
We
learned earlier children are the Lord’s heritage; they are a blessing
from God. Thus, children should not
cause you to make an appointment with your psychiatrist.
The
wise King Solomon wrote:
Train (In Hebrew the
word Na’ar means infancy to
adolescence) up a child in the
way he (or she) should go; And when
he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
There
are two things I want to talk about from this verse. First, there’s a time element in this passage
that must be obeyed. If you’re going to properly train your children, this must
be done during their development years, from birth to about ten years of age. If you choose to reject his wisdom, y’all
need to be prepared to face the consequences of your unwise decision.
Parents
today believe they have a better plan because they read a self-help book on
child-rearing or because they intend to raise their child differently than they
were raised by their parents. But look
at society today; do you honestly believe that plan is working? One discipline tactic I’ve encountered more
than a few times over the years is the parent trying to change their child’s
unruliness by reasoning with them. Permit
me to illustrate. One married couple
with children I’m acquainted with uses the lecture method when one of their
boys gets into trouble. They pull the
child aside and they begin to reason with him, teaching him to share the toy with his brother; instead of hitting him
on the head with it! From what I can see
this plan isn’t working. The one thing
they have taught their children is you won’t be punished for your wrong doing;
we’ll just sit down and chat instead.
I
don’t believe discussing the problem is punishment. If they found this suggestion in a “How To”
book, I’d return it and get by money back, because this plan is not
working. The oldest child continues to
get what he wants, when he wants it, by bullying his younger brother. And, the younger brother has learned to hit
back, usually when his brother has his back turned! Words alone won’t train up a child in the way they should go. Most children learn to tune their parent’s
voices out when it is something they don’t want to hear – like “Eat your vegetables” or “Help me pick up your toys.”
The
second thing I want y’all to notice is King Solomon said, “Train your children,” and not teach
them. The couple from my illustration
above is doing exactly what Solomon said not to do; they are “teaching” their children to behave. But here’s the thing, children, like adults,
must be trained to obey.
The
Hebrew word for train is Chanak (khaw-nak’). It expresses the idea of molding the character, to drill (militarily speaking), to make obedient to their parent’s commands. I know people will disagree with what I’m
about to say, but again; this does not alter God’s Word one iota. Scripture says the proper way to discipline a
child is by using the rod:
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; But the rod of correction shall
drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15).
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you beat him (or her) with
the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver
his soul from Sheol (Proverbs 23:13-14).
The
Hebrew word for rod is Shebet (shay-bet). It was a stick used for measurement and as an
instrument of discipline or punishment by shepherds and others. I witnessed this type of punishment while
attending parochial school. The nuns were
responsible for teaching us and most of them walked the classroom with a 12”
ruler (a rod) in hand. When someone was
caught misbehaving, the nun would slap their hands with their ruler; a few
opted to use the metallic edge to show their disapproval. Someone caught doing harm to another child was
taken out into the hallway and spanked on the rump.
Spanking
used to be a discipline tool in the schools.
If a child misbehaved, ignoring the teacher’s warnings, they were taken
to the principal’s office for a spanking.
The parents were notified afterwards that discipline had been applied to
their child’s backside. This isn’t being
done today, which is one reason the schools have turned into a field of battle,
i.e. bullying, drug abuse, fighting, sexual harassment, children literally
being shot at or killed by other students - what a mess! Children must be disciplined at home first,
and then in the school setting, if it’s necessary.
But
let’s be clear, Solomon is not saying pick
up a rod and beat your child. The verses are saying disobedience comes
naturally to children and it’s the parent’s responsibility to train them to overcome
their natural inclination to sin. But abusing
a child is never warranted. Parents
learn this truth in Ephesians 6:4 where Paul wrote, “Fathers, do not provoke your
children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline of
the Lord. Children are to respond obediently to their parents out of love and respect and not fear.
Paul’s
command is directed to the father’s
but the passage is not saying only the fathers
are to discipline the children. You could insert the word “parents” here and
be right with scripture. You see there
was a time when fathers went off to
work each day and the mother stayed at home, tending to the needs of the children and their home. They were called “housewives,” but many
people believe this is a degrading term today.
Although the mother spends more time with the children then the father,
the fathers must remember the Lord
is watching; they will be held accountable at The Judgment Seat of Christ in
regard to whether or not their children
were raised in the things of the Lord.
This
verse also says the parents are not to discipline their children out of anger, but in love. Anger is a turn-off (negative emotion)
while love is a turn-on (positive
emotion). I
was punished once by my father in anger, and I remember the details
vividly. It was a sad day in our
relationship. Dad had a bad day at work
and in anger punished me for my wrongdoing.
But Paul is saying parents NEVER discipline your child when you’re angry.
Don’t let your emotions control you; you control your emotions
(Galatians 5:22-23).
I
pray you can see there’s wisdom in the phrase, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” Yet some
people argue, “If you love your child, how can you discipline them this
way?” My response is, “If you truly love
your child, how can you withhold
proper discipline?”
If you’ll apply the proper discipline when it occurs
(not hours, days, months, or years later), it not only gets their attention, it
awakens them to the fact they will suffer the consequences for their
disobedience.
Next,
many people wonder if discipline should be applied in private or in
public. My parents employed the spanking
protocol when the situation warranted it.
Furthermore, the spanking was administered in public and in view of my
siblings. Adding public embarrassment to
one’s stinging behind was a very effective tool and it made the other children
sit-up and take notice. It was
definitely an attention-getter! By the
way spanking in our home was not a matter of routine. My parents used other forms of punishment such
as grounding, no T.V., washing our mouths out with soap, if we took God’s name
in vain or used a curse word, and we were confined to our room if we couldn’t
get along with each other. Spanking was
reserved for serious offenses and not just because we didn’t eat our spinach…
Let’s
look at verse 6:2-3.
“HONOR YOUR FATHER
AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT
MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH (Exodus 20:12).
Both
parents have the God-given responsibility of training their children in the
ways of the Lord. This doesn’t mean you
beat them over the head with your Bible, or drill them with scripture and Bible
facts, instead you are to encourage them to make the Word of God a part of
their daily lives; just as you are doing, I pray!
How
important is this? God said it’s very
important. The phrase “HONOR YOUR PARENTS; your father and mother”
is repeated eight times in scripture which means it’s there for our learning:
For whatsoever
things were written (in
times past, or) aforetime were written
for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the
scriptures might have hope (Romans 15:4; Ephesians 2:1-13 - KJV).
All Scripture is
God-breathed and is useful for instruction, for conviction, for correction, and
for (what)
training in righteousness, so
that the man (or child of God) may
be complete, fully equipped for every good work (2 Timothy
3:16).
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER” is a
command from the Lord. It expresses the
idea both the mother and father are worthy of being honored. This tells us, among other things, the
parent’s God-given responsibilities in the home are vitally important to God’s
plan and purpose for His one
Church.
Although
the parent’s roles are deemed honorable
here, I would not be fulfilling my role if I failed to mention women today do
not see eye-to-eye with God; they do not consider motherhood honorable or
something to be desired. This is evidenced by all the activity going on
at Planned Parenthood. I’m not going to
sugar-coat the truth; Planned Parenthood’s main role is to abort children,
black children preferably; not my opinion, you’ll find the majority of their
clinics are in located in black neighborhoods by choice. Most of the population today chooses to
ignore the facts. Margaret Sanger, the
founder of Planned Parenthood, as it’s known since 1952, was a leading advocate
of the Eugenics Movement, specifically, of negative Eugenics, which promotes
the reduction of sexual reproduction and sterilization of people with undesired
traits or economic conditions. On a
radio show, Sanger is reported to have said, “Morons, mental defectives, epileptics, illiterates, paupers, unemployables,
criminals, prostitutes, and dope fiends ought to be surgically sterilized.”
If they wish, she said, “…such people should also be able to choose a
lifelong segregated existence in labor camps.” Adolph Hitler and his followers held the same
view.
Instead
of listening to the “talking heads” about this subject, I choose to examine the
facts. Planned Parenthood has a long and
well-documented history of racism beginning with its founder, Margaret
Sanger. It’s also a fact more
African-Americans have died from abortion than from AIDS, accidents, violent
crimes, cancer, and heart disease combined. And in
America today, a black
child is three times more likely to be killed in the womb than a white child. Since 1973, abortion has reduced the black
population by more than 25%.
“When will people wake up and smell the
coffee?” It’s not a “choice;” it’s a
child! Although millions of women do not
see motherhood as a blessing or honorable, and willfully disregard the Lord’s
commands, God has spoken plainly. Any
way you want to look at it, the sin of abortion does not bring honor and glory
to God! It’s murder and people will be
held accountable.
“HONOR YOUR FATHER
AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT
MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH” (Exodus 20:12).
This
promise from the Lord is both general and specific. In general, the natural consequence of honoring your parents and the skills
learned from doing so lead to a good life and a good life is usually connected
to a long life. Sin characteristically
shortens life while virtue extends it.
The
promise here is also specific in that it is a direct promise from God. He extends a blessing to those who honor their father and mother. This does not mean God cannot have a different
plan for specific individuals even if they do honor their father and mother – Believers who are persecuted for
their faith in Christ is but one example.
However, obedience to God’s command brings His blessings.
What
does it mean to honor your parents? Primarily it means “to place value upon” them. It
is demonstrated in consideration, love, and respect. This is something all of us are to do
regardless of our age. Remember, earlier
I mentioned the command to Honor your
father and mother has no expiration date attached to it. Young children honor their parents through their obedience to them. Older children transitioning into adulthood honor through submission – they
willingly follow the instruction and advice of their parents out of sincere devotion.
When
you become an adult and live independently of your parents you are no longer
under their authority. Our obedience and
submission are no longer required because the authority structure has changed. Men, you
are to leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife. Ladies, your husband is now your head and not your father. But even so, as adults, we are still to give honor to our parents. If the parents have done their job properly
and the children are walking with
the Lord this arises out of love and
heartfelt devotion.
However,
some people have been bad parents. Their
children suffered at their hands. Their
past is full of pain, trust has been broken and their current relationship is
strained at best. But regardless of the
past, you are still responsible before God to honor them. I haven’t found
an escape clause anywhere in this book, which at minimum means you must honor even the bad parents: by not speaking evil of them, slandering
them, letting them go hungry or ignoring them in time of need, for at worst
they are still your neighbor which we have been commanded to love as ourselves (Mark 12:31). Honoring them will be a difficult duty
instead of a joyful devotion. Even so,
you can still honor them out of your
love for Jesus Christ and desire to
be obedient to Him.
(To
be continued)
©
Copyright 2011
GJ
Heitzman’s Ministry
All
Rights Reserved
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